Have you ever noticed the way that your darling spouse can be so frigging subversive? We've been trying for 4 months now for another baby. The thing that kills me is that my darling husband thinks I'm still 18 and can get pregnant by just looking at me. What the fuck? He knows that there are only a few days--and sometimes a few hours-- that I can get knocked up, and yet he's playing this power game with me. What man declines sex?

We skipped screwing last night. He didn't feel well. I think he's hitting that "what have I done with my life" and "what do I have to show for it" thing. I think between getting ever closer to 40 and somethings going on with his family that he's having a pity party and taking it out on everyone around him. It really stinks for the boys--they don't understand why daddy is being a short-tempered asswipe.

Personally, the thought of screwing him when he's like this isn't appealing at all...but let's face it. This will all blow over in a few days or weeks and then I'll be sad that we missed the opportunity this month. I'm planning on getting back on track tonight. Screw him if he doesn't want to fuck. I'm not in the mood to be nice about it.

It has just been a long few days with the testosterone blues in my house.

Today is another in a long line of what-the-fuck-am-I-going-to-do-with-the-kids-today days. I cannot wait until school begins. They're so bored and I can't watch another episode of Rugrats. Maybe the airport to watch the airplanes or the train...we'll see.

More later.

Okay, so I am a caricature of the suburbanite mom. My kid plays soccer, my other is toddling around pressing the key fob to my minivan and I'm crazy enough to want a third. My two favorite websites are www.flylady.net and www.fertilityfriend.com. What happened to the cool, hot, hippy chick that used to go to bed at 6am? I think I've died and gone to my own worst Hell. The weird thing is, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I almost feel a little guilty that this is here and that I can just dump. Dump to my heart's content and not really give a good Goddamn who sees it. Sometimes it's nice to not be so nice. Uck--the cat's hauling up a frigging hairball. Now that I know that this is here, I'll be writing all the time. For now, it's Resolve carpet cleaner, a glass of merlot and bed.